Mandorla

I think sometimes I lack the God Gene. Then I realize that I can't quite let go of the idea of some sort of deity.

Most days polytheism seems more logical than monotheism. Like Edana said, the world is so screwed up it has to be run by a committee.

I'm not comfortable trying to assign some personality to the divine. It just is, and I am part of it, in my brain. Neither good nor evil, just like life.

And that has been your periodic randomosity.

As an Atheist, I truly believe Africa needs God

Tell me your thoughts and opinions. Discussion would be awesome too.

I'm still processing it.

( Link Saver )

Anybody have any tips about how to get a well-meaning friend to stop trying to convert me? I know I can't change her fanaticism and we just plain don't bring up evolution any more, but I'd really like to stop being pressured to go to church. I mean, I completely adore her. This is the woman who came and took the soup off the stove when I took Ambien instead of a painkiller. I'm ready to beat my head against a WALL. I've tried explaining that this wasn't a light decision, and I'm happier now that I've stopped trying to find "the answer." It's just ARGH!

My supervisor's mother died today. I was telling C at work about a book about raising your children without religion.

I feel somewhat guilty for part of me that feels I'm wanting to deprive people of the comfort they take in their religion, especially concerning death.

I'm just glad Y wasn't here to hear that particular.

This is exactly what I find deplorable about organized religion. They have to have some sort of personal reward for doing the right thing. They do charity for points into heaven, they avoid murder so they don't go to hell.

I think I may be ill.

I admit, I'm a country fan. Some of the songs just touch on heart-strings and I can't deny the affection. Especially among those I love are Brooks and Dunn. Those men know how to work a song like nobody else.

I do love their song "Believe". ( Lyrics follow. )

The premise of the song being that the belief in an afterlife must be true. The verse that gets me is this one:

The longer that I live
Yeah, this can't be
No, this can't be
No, this can't be all there is.

What the hell do you mean, "all" there is? Can you look at this big beautiful world, a tiny speck in this vast and beautiful universe, and still call it "all?"

That's freakin' insulting to the very premise of life. How can you demean all of the universe by using such a limiting word? Man, I love you, love your music, hey, I even like that song, but....

Your short-sightedness hurts me.

I tihnk what got me the most was seeing that stupid comment "there are no atheists in foxholes." And I remembered, when I was crouched, powerless in that bunker in Kuwait, waiting to get bombed and die horribly, I didn't pray, I didn't think about god. My thoughts were 100% on those people guiding the patriot missiles that would save my life.

I think I'm in the midst of a crisis of faith. Even admitting that out loud hurts me in a way I can't adequately describe. After reading Greta Christina's weblog, I find more and more sense in atheism. I like logic in my world, and the way the world fits together is logical. While I'm not quite ready to totally give up on faith, I think pantheism is definitely more me than anything else. The god concept taught by most world religions is not one I'd ever want to exist. The childish, selfish, contradictory god portrayed by these groups seems far more likely to take pleasure in human torment than to be benevolent.

The idea of universal interconnectedness feels right to me, feels right and makes sense. If you break things down to a cellular, molecular, atomic and subatomic level, it is all connected. And I find myself less in crisis. I find myself connecting the universal dots, following things to their logical conclusions. And I'm calm again.

In the process of cleaning the apartment, I've made note that my text books on anatomy, medical ethics, and chemistry are on the bottom shelf of the stand I use as an altar.

Does this say anything about me?

Guide me to the path to find my perfect balance.

Most people on the internet know me as Shai. For quite a few years, I've been rather drifting as far as my faith is concerned. I feel it deeply, but now as I discover a local group of like-minded souls, I feel the need to explore myself and my faith more.

I want to grow.

I want to learn.

I want to be part of a group.